Yesterday, I went to see an Oncologist. Not a phrase I hope to repeat, that. This was an appointment arranged some time ago by my plastic surgeon and was initially to discuss participation in a drug trial - my name was put down for the drug trial whilst in hospital and before my last negative results came in.
I was dreading the appointment - more fear of the unknown than anything else. "Unsettled" was probably the best way to describe me last week. I had no idea what he was going to say or do. Having done some research into the drug Avastin beforehand, and given my clear lymph node result - I approached the appointment with the intention of stating that I didn't want to participate in the trial; but also prepared to change my mind if he held a strong contrary view.
I travelled up to Exeter for the appointment with my wife. The consultant in Exeter was very "old-style" - an academic with bow-tie and moustache and a manner which was reassuringly detached. Fortunately, he agreed with me. The drug has no proven chance of success and without any positive scoring - why do it? He sounded positively supportive when I said I just wanted to get on with life and try to put it behind me. Interestingly he recommended taking a vitamin D supplement - something I am already doing. We discussed that a number of trials are currently going on around the world for treatments for recurrent malignant melanoma - some of which are looking promising. My hope is that should I have any problems with recurrence in the future, by then a breakthrough will have been made.
More than anything else, the appointment brought home how crucial my sentinel-node surgery was. My Oncologist explained that my chances are much higher because the positive lymph node was removed before it was capable of being felt. Had I not had that surgery - I would have known nothing about it and by the time I could feel something - it may have been too late. I was very very lucky to have a clued-up dermatologist who recommended the procedure in the first place. Thanks to Toby Chave.
Yesterday was not easy, despite the optomistic outlook. But its done. Now looking forward to Christmas and a fresh New Year.
